21

So here I go telling the woderful story of how I turned 21. 

1 week to go: I walked home at about 9 got into my car and went straight to Taco Bell to get my first real meal of the day. It wasn't much but I was so glad to be done with everything. I walked in the doors to see the girl I shared the apartment with standing at the table with her mascarra running. I asked what had happened and she told me of the two year old baby in the ICU at Indianaoplis Methodist Hosptial. I cried and finished half a bottle of wine that night. I prayed "dear God let her be ok." 

6 days: they told me they were going to pull the life support at 2. Dear God just one answered prayer. first one ever. Please. She died two hours later. I made plans, but nothing that mattered now. I cried again. "God watch over them it's so hard."

5 days: I'm going to drive back tomorrow. Why bother doing any homework it's not worth the wasted attempts. I can't count the prayers. "God Kory needs your help. He's taking it so hard."

4 days: I smoked a cigar during my drive back. three hours in a cloud of smoke. It was nice. "God why so young? Why so little? So much hope."

3 days. Look there she is sleeping with all her stuffed toys. Flowers and pictures all around. She's loved by so many. God I want to kill him. They all do. WE all do. She deserved better. What's wrong with me? Wow everyone's here. Why can't we ever get together without death? I need a break from the sorrow. "God they're all great friends protect them. Please for once."

2 days: She's in the ground. God this Fucking mud is so thick. There's no reason something so beautiful should be covered in this shit. "What the Fuck God?"

1 Day: Happy Birthday. Get off your ass and help me. We're leaving now! Go get your car out of the Damned mud. I saw the sunset in my rearview mirror feels so damned literal. What a gorgeous drive with nobody there. That car is my therapy. "God let me die here and see this in the end."  I need a BEER!

IT"S HERE: "We can't sell you that till 7 am. Sorry son." "God it's only started. Now I'm writing this fucking blog." HappyFuckingBirthday