A life

A New Era

2008-11-04T20:19:00.001-08:00

I am struck today with the need to thank God for my current place in time. We stand on the brink of a new erea. The fact that an African American man is the projected leader of the free world has quite an impact.
I am so glad to see what my future will hold. I believe that if nothing else has occured we have grown into a new ability to lead and there is hope for the future and I can't wait.

ok enough of my pessimism

2008-08-07T19:14:00.000-07:00

I'm really excited because I've found a new job. I'm going to be working at the Olive Garden here in Muncie. It looks like a fun place to be and I think I'm going to enjoy it. I'm moved into the house, things seem to be going well. I love the new place. As far as renting goes I couldn't think of anyplace better around here. I'm hoping to have a cookout soon. Pray all goes well.

I have no life

2008-07-24T17:23:00.000-07:00

My life has digressed to a new low. I am now sitting in the library watching Angel. I have spent the last four hours online looking for a job, or a place that I could possibly find a job, and there seems to be no end in sight. What an exciting time I'm having. It's so nice to be unemployed, money is such a hassle.

21

2008-03-02T23:21:00.001-08:00

So here I go telling the woderful story of how I turned 21.

1 week to go: I walked home at about 9 got into my car and went straight to Taco Bell to get my first real meal of the day. It wasn't much but I was so glad to be done with everything. I walked in the doors to see the girl I shared the apartment with standing at the table with her mascarra running. I asked what had happened and she told me of the two year old baby in the ICU at Indianaoplis Methodist Hosptial. I cried and finished half a bottle of wine that night. I prayed "dear God let her be ok."

6 days: they told me they were going to pull the life support at 2. Dear God just one answered prayer. first one ever. Please. She died two hours later. I made plans, but nothing that mattered now. I cried again. "God watch over them it's so hard."

5 days: I'm going to drive back tomorrow. Why bother doing any homework it's not worth the wasted attempts. I can't count the prayers. "God Kory needs your help. He's taking it so hard."

4 days: I smoked a cigar during my drive back. three hours in a cloud of smoke. It was nice. "God why so young? Why so little? So much hope."

3 days. Look there she is sleeping with all her stuffed toys. Flowers and pictures all around. She's loved by so many. God I want to kill him. They all do. WE all do. She deserved better. What's wrong with me? Wow everyone's here. Why can't we ever get together without death? I need a break from the sorrow. "God they're all great friends protect them. Please for once."

2 days: She's in the ground. God this Fucking mud is so thick. There's no reason something so beautiful should be covered in this shit. "What the Fuck God?"

1 Day: Happy Birthday. Get off your ass and help me. We're leaving now! Go get your car out of the Damned mud. I saw the sunset in my rearview mirror feels so damned literal. What a gorgeous drive with nobody there. That car is my therapy. "God let me die here and see this in the end." I need a BEER!

IT"S HERE: "We can't sell you that till 7 am. Sorry son." "God it's only started. Now I'm writing this fucking blog." HappyFuckingBirthday

'08

2008-01-09T18:51:00.000-08:00

I guess it is fitting enough to write some of my ambitions, hopes, and fears for the upcoming year. Right now my highest ambition is to raise my GPA a little bit. I've got a little over a 3.2 but I really need to get a 3.5 or higher. I'm planning on working really hard to do better in the classes that I have this semester. I hope to have a little bit better social life this semester than I did last semester. I really have to make time to do more of the things that keep me cool. I have a tendency to put myself in situations where I just don't spend enough time with people. It's curious to me how many people I meet and willingly greet me in the street but I have to make a serious effort to be sure that when somethings going on I get a call. I wonder how forgettable I really am when out of sight. Whoever said that no man is an island was never an overweight college transfer. But I guess he meant that no man survives adrift, which I agree with. It's just harder sometimes to be part of something than to simply not be at all. I would hate for all of you adoring readers of mine are terribly concerned for my personal health but I promise there's nothing to concern yourself over. I am simply making observations. Is it possible to be a depressed Optimist?

TANK: Security

2007-09-11T18:06:00.001-07:00

Welcome to the second editon of Tank. These are of course stories of my life and thoughts while riding around in my '88 Grand Marquis.

Today I got out of classes, ate a late lunch in th Atrium and took off back home. The air outside was a beautiful 69 degrees and a soft breeze was blowing. It has turned out to be a beautiful Fall day. I stopped by my apartment, dropped of my backpack, and took off out the door and hoped into my Tank. This is a wonderful thing for me because in my pocket happens to be a check that I recently got in the mail for some of the stuff I had to sell off when I moved back from Florida.
I first stop in at Marsh and they won't cash the check. I then go to the bank and they won't cash the check. I then go to the "Check Cashing" Cash adcance place.... by God they won't cash the freaking check. What the hell is wrong with this picture.
Every place I went my blood pressure went up. There is not a single place that will cash a second party check in this entire town. I then came to the conclusion that the US obsession with Security is a freakin Joke. It's so safe a starving College kid can't buy groceries with money he's earned cause he CAn't FUCKing CASH the CHECK!!!!!!!!

So as it stands I am now an extremely pissed off person. I thought that this was going to be a wonderful day, but it seems that is not in the cards. Thanks a lot to the U.S. of A for being so freakin amazing, and "safe". Honest people don't stand a chance. If you want anything you gotta be able to cheat the system into giving it to you even if you earned it.
So that's all for this episode of TANK. Join in next time for another adventure that hopefully doesn't end in me being broke AND out of gas.

The Tank

2007-09-06T22:37:00.001-07:00

I think what I'm going to do is start my own blog site. It is going to be called "Tank". I'm going to fill it with all the random things that I think about while riding in my massive tank of a car. Like today for instance. I was driving to Arby's to cash in on their new 5 spicy roastbeef sandwiches for 5.95 thingy (which is absolutely a miracle cause now I have dinner and lunch). I came to the realization that most of the people that are trying to "teach" all of us soon to be teachers, can't actually teach at all. I have a total of two classes that actually have really good teachers. The others are all retards. Teachers that think they are giving out tough love or being really joe cool and can't run a freakin class. (as a side note I'll try to keep this pg but as those of you who have a) lived with me or b) driven with me, know I don't always express myself in a pg rating.) So on I go. And the great thing is that I don't think I'm really learning anything from the teachers, but actually more from my own study, and the people in class. I know it's not the most random thing today, but for the instance it was. Besides the only other things that I really talked about with my friend in the car was disturbed gay men at parties, and the fact that there is enough weed on this campus to make Charles Manson sing Jesus Loves me with Simon & Garfunkel. So that's all for today tune in again when I come back with another episode of Tank.

The way of change

2007-07-24T23:12:00.000-07:00

So Things are changing for me. It's sad how so much of a person's world can twist within the blink of an eye. I've been home for over two months. Soon I will be completing my transfer to Ball State and starting school all over again. Or basically. I need some direction and focus. I really need to spend this semester focused on school work and getting through everything. I need this to go well. I'm tired of people and problems and everybody worrying about shit that has no relevance and really only causes trouble. Life can be hard enough as it is without people putting in so much negative energy and thought. I hope that things turn out well. To everybody I've had to leave behind I will really miss you. Please don't forget about all the fun we've had. I love you whether you see this message or not. I hope to see you again soon.
Peace & Love
Chet

Back home again in......

2007-05-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

Ok I'm back. I'm sure all 0 of you that read this blog will be glad to know that I'm home safe, if not entirely sound(of mind). I'm home and wishing that there was something better here. I've been trying as hard as possible to find a job here, and I just might have found it. I hope that everybody who reads this is doing better than I am. I feel like everything that is in me hurts. There is so much going on and I don't know what to do about it. I may not even be able to go back to school next semester. That would be some serious stuff, but I still don't know what's going on. So anyway I am praying for the best. Thanks for the place to vent the interwebs is as good a place to let stuff out as any. Just remember Sarcasm is always the right answer.

kah-mai

Just some random thoughts

2007-02-21T09:00:00.000-08:00

I'm just writing today because I fealt that it was time that I started sharing myself with the world again. I really enjoy florida and the life that I have been afforded. It took a lot of sacrifice for everybody involved for me to have this little bit of freedom. Sadly I feel that my paradise adventure has been in vain. I know a lot of people who are feeling as though much of their time is being wasted. I know what I want to do once I leave this place. I know I want to teach, but I just feel like everything that I try is totally unproductive and that I'm not supposed to keep the course I'm on.
Now for the weird stuff.
I'm generally not a man that believes in fate, but I have been reading the Dark Tower series by Steven King and I realise that it's all fiction but it has got me thinking about what my goal is. Roland has his tower and every action is leading him closer to that goal even against amazing odds. I don't believe in Ka but I believe that God has something for me to do and that works much the same as Roland's Ka (like a wind). The thing that bothers me is that I don't know what I should be doing.
So there it is. take it or leave it.

First post

2007-02-11T11:33:00.000-08:00

Okay here goes a classic first post.
I'm new I don't have any clue what I'm going to write about.
Uh....that's it